I'm running on a 1Gb VPS yet aMember, Copper mine and Wordpress with amember plugins active and theme sharing on requires min 96Mb and the single cpu box shuts down on any thing more than a dozen of so visitors at a time. Is there any way to keep aMember from using so much memory? and if so, HOW much can be saved or what is typical memory expectation for this size setup?
The problem is not only in aMember. When you enable wordpress theme, aMember includes wordpress code so all your themes and plugins are included as well. In order to optimize that you can disable plugins which you don't use, also disable wordpress theme integration and customize aMember theme to look like the rest of your site.